How Deadpool Reacts to....

How Deadpool Reacts to Lousy Writing!!!

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[[A young girl with shining brown hair walked down the halls. A wooden stake was in her hands, ready to take out the ultimate bad guy. Deadpool. She ran up behind him, Wade pulling out his gun in defense, completely speechless. She knocked them out of his hands and killed him with one final blow to the head. Deadpool is dead. I killed him.]]

"What the bleepity bleep was that? Even your clone arc you wrote for me wasn't that bad! You are worse than FOX right now young lady! You massacred me by making me get killed in seconds! In ONE paragraph! AND you made me say bleepity bleep because you're posting this on a kid friendly board before that fan fiction place! I thought you thought we were cool!"

"Calm down Wade, I'm just letting the audience know what kind of friends I'm stuck with. One dude drew a picture of me killing you and Spider-Man."

"…ok, Spidey I understand, dude's too whiny, but ME? I am a franchise character! I'm going to have my own movie! I've had tons of guest appearances, series of my own, countless merchandise, and TOO MANY fan fictions to count! You can't kill me in one hit! Especially not with a piece of wood! I'm not a vampire, I – "

Duct tape magically appears taping together Deadpool's mouth and body. Yup, one thing about being a writer, it doesn't have to make sense. What I type happens, that's how it works!

"C'mon dude, it was just for laughs. Anyone who'd believe one word of this never even heard of you. Though come to think of it, you aren't as famous as you think you are. Most people walk up to me in school while I have your tee shirt on and say, 'Oh! Cool Spidey tee!'"

Wade struggled to get himself free, but the duct tape is too strong. I'm starting to love this stuff as much as he does! He finally wriggles himself free and…points a gun in my face.

"C'mon dude, again?"

"First your twisted Lady Pool, now this. I never knew you'd strike that low! That's like….one notch below TELEMARKETER low!"

I gaze down the barrel pressed against my face, and begin to feel nervous for my life.

"C'mon, I mean, it'd happen eventually, right? Putting up a little demo on how bad things could get?"

I see his anger still hasn't lifted.

"Well, at least now what Fox did to you doesn't seem that bad, right?"

Bad move. I can see his costumed finger tightening on the trigger, when a slightly noticeable expression of surprise appears on his face.

"Great Love of the Multiple Hot Redheads of Marvel! You're right! This could happen again!"

"Well, not that bad, but – "

"I gotta go. Enchiladas!"

I was left in a daze after I could only guess was his attempt to say Arrivadoche or however you spell it. That or the shock made him forget how to say chimmichanga. I had no idea what was in store for me the next day.

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I turned on the TV to see a startling news revelation. Or, shall I say, revolution (of one). Deadpool, in full costume no less, was outside a random mansion with posters, illustrated with a big red X over the words BAD WRITING and a picture of him giving a thumbs up, shouting incoherently to random passers by.

"Stop the MADNESS! Do not let your heroes become vampires! Do not let children drawing stick figures give ideas! Bring back our quality! And don't forget how to say franchise catchphrases!"

Oh, well, guess I was right about that part. Oh man, what have I done? Although I'm surprised after writing this he didn't put a little revenge thing over on me. Ooh, but I'm hungry. TIME TO EAT! I grab myself a bowl of cereal, add some sugar, and start to chow down!

"Bleeehh! Yuck! What happened to my cereal?"

"Haha, yeah, this girl deserves a few hours in the Box, or to be tied down to her uncomfortable kitchen chairs while I stuff leftover brussel sprouts down her throat, but since that's bondage and a lot of you guys got dirty minds, that'd make me a pedophile. SICKOS! Oh well, this is almost as good! Haha!"